You, Understood
by ncis-boss-z
Summary: Post-Judgment Day spoilers I guess you could say . The team reflects after the tramatic event. Each has their own way of viewing it. Tony compares his guilt to grammar...bad summary, good story.


**You, Understood**

**Disclaimer: Sadly, I own nothing but my iPod and the plot. Oh wait, I lied! Now I own a Diet Dr. Pepper and so Jolly Ranchers!**

**A/N: This story is actually kind of sad. It's not really my style to do sad, because I like happy endings, but while watching Judgment Day 1 and 2 for about the seven hundredth time, I decided to write this post Judgment Day oneshot. If you like it, I'm glad, savor the moment, because I will probably never write one like this again. If you don't like it, that's fine, because again, I will probably never write one like this again. Enough of my blabbering! On to the story! Review and Enjoy!**

_(Tony and Ziva)_

"Tony, it was not your fault," Ziva tried convincing him for the hundredth time since they had arrived in Washington, D.C. two days ago.

Two days ago, everything was different. They were laughing, driving down the highway in the red convertible. Two days ago, they were having drinks on the beach and catching some rays. Two days ago, the director told them to take a day off. Two days ago, they had left the director alone in Los Angeles, California. Two days ago, said director went looking for a man in the middle of the desert with only a retired agent for backup. Two days ago, said backup had gone outside to get water, leaving the director alone in an abandoned restaurant. Two days ago, the director had been shot in a gunfight while left alone in said building. Two days ago, Ziva convinced McGee to trace the director's phone and then convinced Tony to drive to find her. Two days ago, they found said director in said abandoned restaurant in the middle of said desert after said gunfight. Two days ago, the director was dead.

And here they were now. Ziva had flipped the emergency switch in the elevator like Gibbs did so many times. Tony blamed himself for not staying with the director, and Ziva tried to convince him it wasn't his fault, he couldn't have known what would happen.

"Ok, Ziva, whatever," he brushed her off. He slid down the wall so he was now sitting, with his elbows propped up on his knees, face in his hands

"Tony, you have to listen to me," Ziva insisted. "It is not your fault that Jenny is dead. It is the fault of whoever killed her. No one blames you."

"It's like you understood," Tony muttered.

Ziva was confused, "I do understand."

Tony shook his head and looked up at her, tears brimming in his eyes. "No, you understood is a grammar thing. It means that the 'you' is there is sentences like 'Run' but the actual word is not there."

"I do not understand the similarity," Ziva said, expressionless.

Tony sighed and explained, "The blame is there, everyone knows it is, it's just a fact of life, but no one actually says it."

Ziva slid down to sit next to him. Without thinking, she took his hands in hers.

"Tony, you have no reason to think that anyone blames you. We were given an order that we followed," she said soothingly. "This you understood works in things other than English grammar and blame, yes?"

"I guess," Tony said.

"Things like love, yes? It is there, but people do not always say it," Ziva nodded.

"What do you mean?" Tony asked.

Ziva shrugged, standing up and flipping the emergency switch back off. "They will wonder where we are," she told him.

He stood up and grabbed her hand, "For the record, you're right, about the love thing."

Ziva nodded and squeezed his hand, to reassure him that she knew what he meant, and herself, that she knew what she was doing. The two left the elevator hand in hand to support each other and went to Abby's lab.

**xXx**

_(Abby and McGee)_ McGee and Abby sat in silence on the bench in Abby's lab. Two days ago, the call came from Los Angeles telling them that Jenny had been killed. Here they sat now, not speaking, not touching, not doing anything. McGee looked at his feet, Abby stared into space.

"McGee?" Abby finally whispered into the silence.

McGee looked up, his eyes red. She would have said something, but she knew she looked the same way. "I'm gunna miss her," she sniffled before bursting into tears.

McGee jumped up and moved closer to her, embracing her in a tight hug. It was the first time he had hugged her since Tony and Ziva left, which was surprising since Abby always hugged everyone. She hugged him close to her, thankful for someone else's presence. She cried on his shoulder and he rubbed her back comfortingly.

"I know Abbs. I will too," he told her.

He was glad to hug someone. He hadn't had any contact with her, and he missed her hugs. She always hugged him, and it made his day. They had dated in the past, and even now they were friends with benefits, for lack of a better phrase. He still loved her of course; she was hard not to love, especially when you were around her every day. He missed hugging her like that. The feeling that she was in his arms as more than just a friend. Even under the circumstances, the hug was a welcome action.

"McGee, you won't die on me will you?" she asked.

The question was slightly comical, but McGee knew she was serious.

"No Abby, I won't die on you. Someone's gotta watch you to make sure you don't marry your mass spec," he said, trying to get her to laugh. He hated seeing her like this.

She chuckled slightly before becoming serious again, "You'd better not, because I don't know what I'd do without you here. I can't live without you Timmy."

Thoughts sped through McGee's head. Tony had joked once that it was like a computer, processing millions of thoughts a second. Now, all of his memories with Abby flashed before his eyes and he searched for the meaning of her words.

"I know Abbs," was all he said.

She read his mind, "You want to know what I mean by that, don't you?"

McGee nodded vaguely. Abby pulled away from his hug and gazed at him thoughtfully. She was sorting out her thoughts. Her eyes searched his for something he didn't know if she would find. She started to speak, "I'm going to miss Jenny so much! Everyone keeps leaving me. They are thrown into my life, and then they are ripped out. I still think about Kate, and sometimes she comes and talks to me and we make fun of Tony, and I tell her I miss her. I just want someone to always be with me. Forever. I know I'm not great at commitment, but after Michael can you blame me? I don't know a good thing when I have it, and that's my fault. I made the mistake of letting a good guy go once, and I don't want to do it again. I don't expect you to feel the same way, I just thought I should put that out there."

McGee sighed and took Abby's hands in his, "I'm never going to leave you Abby. I hope you know that."

She smiled a watery smile through her tears, and hugged them. The two lost travelers found each other again. They missed their fallen teammates, and they always would, but now they had each other for support. They didn't know what the future would bring, but they would always be together.

**xXx**

_(Gibbs' Basement)_ Gibbs stood in his dimly lit basement, a glass of whiskey in one hand, a sander in the other. He was sanding down his boat like he always did when he needed to think about something. He sat down and tilted his head back, closing his eyes. Memories of the past few days flooded his head. He felt a warm pair of arms around his neck, hugging him from behind. He inhale and smelled the familiar strawberry scent he sensed every time they were together. The smell lingered around her like a light cloud.

"What are you doing down here, Jethro?" she asked softly in his ear.

He reached behind him and ran his fingers through her short red hair. He felt the familiar texture under his fingers, almost like she was really with him.

"Thinking about you, Jen," he whispered.

She laughed and walked in front of him, sitting on the edge of the table holding Gibbs' boat.

"I was dying anyway," she told him.

He nodded, "I know. I'm gunna miss you Jen."

She nodded, taking is hand, "I'm going to miss you too, Jethro."

She closed the gap between them and hugged him tightly. She smelled the sawdust on his shirt and smiled.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"Don't apologize, it's a sign of weakness," she imitated him. He laughed in spite of himself.

"I know, I know," he said.

She pulled away from him and stood looked at him. She bent down and kissed him on the cheek, before turning and heading towards the basement stairs. At the foot of the stairs, she paused and turned back around.

"You should be with your team right now, they need you," she told them.

He nodded and she turned and ascended the stairs, disappearing when she reached the top. Gibbs was engulfed in silence, only the sound of his breathing audible. He knew she wasn't really with him, but she seemed so real. It was almost like seeing Kate again. A single silent tear rolled down his cheek, dropping into his hands as it tried to escape. He stood up and took the stairs Jenny had been on moments before. She was right; he needed to be with his team right now.

**xXx**

_(NCIS Headquarters- Bullpen)_ The team including Ducky stood in autopsy. Jenny's body was on a gurney in the middle of the circle they had formed. Against the new director's protests, the team wanted to say their last goodbye to Jenny before her funeral. McGee had his arm around Abby, as she stared blankly at the sheet covering her friend's body. Tony squeezed Ziva's hand for support. Ducky put a firmly comforting hand on Gibbs' shoulder.

"Are you ready?" he asked quietly.

Gibbs nodded. Ducky moved forward and pulled back the sheet to reveal Jenny's face and shoulders. She looked so peaceful. Her hair was down, her eyes closed. If they wouldn't have known better, they would've thought she was sleeping.

Ziva and Tony stepped forward first.

"I am so sorry, Jenny. I let you down. We should have been with you the whole time. You were a good friend to me while I was here in America. You always thought you owed me for saving your life in Cairo, but you never did. I will miss you," Ziva said.

"It was my fault you were there alone, Jen," Tony said. "We had a good ride. Jeanne was kinda a mistake, but that's the past. You were a good boss. I'm gunna miss you, we're stuck with Vance now."

The couple stepped back and McGee and Abby stepped forward.

"Jenny, I'm gunna miss you!" was all Abby was able to choke out.

"You were a good woman," McGee supplied. "You were a good boss and a good friend. Thanks for everything."

McGee pulled Abby away from the body. She buried her head in McGee's chest and he held her tight, comforting her. Gibbs stepped forward.

"I'm gunna miss you around here Jen. I don't know how well I'm going to get along with Leon. You know my authority problems. I'll never forget Paris," he said. Then in a whisper so silent, no one could hear, he said, "I love you."

Ducky pulled the sheet back over Jenny's face, hiding her from the sight of the agents. He had already said his goodbyes. Now the team was left to deal with the harsh reality of Jenny's death. She was dead, and they had a new director. The incident had brought two couples closer together, and left one alone. Sometimes it takes a tragedy to bring a group of people closer together. And sometimes it takes losing the person you care about most to realize how much you actually care about them. I guess it goes without saying you never really know what you have until it's gone. This team believed (each privately to themselves) that Jenny would still hang around, without actually being there. The only way to explain it I guess was _you, understood_.

**A/N: That was kinda sad. I really like this story though. I think this was how season five should've ended. We never got to see the team say goodbye and they didn't even have a funeral for her. this is my tribute to the late Director Jenny Shepherd, NCIS.**

**XOXO, Boss Z**


End file.
